This Autism Journey

Life has settled a little bit and I just wanted to share with you something that I almost never do. I did something spontaneous!!! That’s right, last minute, no real planning, go with the flow spontaneity. And let me tell you, it felt good. I have never been one to be super spontaneous but that was when I only had to think about myself. Now that I am responsible for others and they crave and need a routine, I do kick myself for not being more spontaneous in my carefree days.

As parents of Autistic kids, we know our children need routines because the predictability of them keeps them grounded and helps mitigate their anxieties. Don’t get me wrong; I love a good routine. Some routines are non-negotiable like a proper skincare routine, an exercise routine, and the kids’ bedtime routine. Everything is nice and predictable.

Staying on this routine, regiment or schedule, whatever you want to call it, really does help our family get through the day. Routines are not all bad but there is something about being spontaneous that just gives me life!!!

Let’s Get Hibachi!

Here’s how it happened. A friend of mine and our kids have been trying to get together to go out and eat Hibachi. We have been talking about it, even had a false start, and finally decided to schedule a lunch date soon. No definite plans were made but we were working on getting them finalized. Then one Saturday my friend texted and said “Want to do it today?”. I immediately said “YES!” without hesitation. Who am I? Who is this person doing something so spontaneous just hours before the big event? I said yes with no regard for the day’s schedule and didn’t even check to see if my husband had plans, I was offered an opportunity and I took it.

Later that day my sister was in our neighborhood and she stopped by and ended up eating dinner with us!!! Another spontaneous event! On the same day!!! Let me tell you, I was riding high for the next 24 hours.

Breaking Routines Can Cost You

I don’t want to give the impression that breaking a routine won’t cost you on the other end. Let me explain. Sometimes, when we do things out of the ordinary it really throws off our Autistic kids. It just does. The predictability is gone, there may be more sensory overload, and there may even be an uptick in anxiety all because the situation is new and different.

There is a pros and cons analysis that I consider anytime I know we will do something different. Is the event worth the possible meltdown in the car on the way home? Could their sleep routine and cycle be interrupted for days? Is a 60% chance it will go well? I will do it. The only thing that would deter me from taking those chances is if it would be a challenge to find parking. I have no patience for bad parking situations. Other than that, I’m all in. Oh, and bring candy.

It can be scary to change things up, especially if it takes a long time to establish a routine. Not only is that new routine comfortable for your child but also for you because you now know what to predict and how to manage it. Change ain’t easy my friend.

Preparing to be spontaneous

When I saw this quote I had to chuckle because I have started to plan being spontaneous! How better to prepare my kids than to schedule breaking out of the routine as part of the routine. Does that make sense? I know it’s not 100% spontaneous, but it’s leaning that way!! One could argue that one of the most predictable things about life is that it is always changing. I don’t want a little change in routine to ruin their whole hour, day, or week.

If I sprinkle spontaneous interactions into their routine every so often, I hope it will lead them to become more open to new experiences, situations, people, places, and thoughts. At least that’s the goal. It also puts a little extra oomph in my life to break out of the monotony.

Good luck and let me know in the comments what you do that is spontaneously planned. Ha-ha!!

Take care,

Heather