This Autism Journey

I did not recognize how much the inability to process sensory information dominated my child’s life. Have you heard the statement, “If it’s a tantrum it’s behavior but if it’s a meltdown it’s sensory.”?

I thought all tantrums and meltdowns were behavior related but I was wrong. In my experience, a tantrum is usually due to being denied access to something desired. Once that desire is achieved all is better. A meltdown is when the sensory system is overloaded. It can present as hitting, kicking, screaming, biting, headbanging, eloping, self-injury, and a temporary loss of speech. Tantrums can happen relatively quick but meltdowns can last for hours.

I never understood my child’s behavior until I understood this difference. Dealing with meltdowns is my least favorite part of parenting because it’s not logical. It takes a lot of guessing to figure out what is wrong.

How I deal with it

Now that I know that my child’s meltdowns are due to sensory overload I try to feed, what I affectionately call, the sensory beast. The sensory beast is the hidden force that affects my child’s ability to function in the world. It drives what he eats, hears, smells, tastes, touches, and feels inside his body. The beast can attack out of nowhere, but if it is fed consistently it can be tamed.

I feed the beast by proactively co-regulating with my child daily to prevent a meltdown. We go on lots of walks, he loves water so I make sure he has access to a pool, we listen to lots of music, and he eats a daily bowl of popcorn because the act of chewing that texture is soothing to him. Some days he just wants me to sit on his bed while he rests under his covers. We co-regulate every single day to feed and tame the beast.

We are all affected by sensory input. Neurotypical brains can filter information and place it in its proper place. Sure there are some things that don’t sit well and that is where the sensory threshold gets crossed, but by and large we do pretty well filtering our sensory input.

Going Forward

I can’t imagine how overwhelming it must feel to be so inundated with the world that you have a meltdown. It’s heartbreaking to think about it. I wish I had known how to help him sooner. I wish I could always alleviate his discomfort.

I have noticed that by indulging his sensory needs, and giving him that regular input, he is starting to develop an ability to process the information to self-regulate. It’s not perfect but things are better. This makes everyone happy, especially him. That brings me joy.

Take care.