This Autism Journey

Oh my goodness. We are in the thick of it! The lull I mentioned a few months back (https://thisautismjourney.com/2024/04/26/enjoying-the-lull-and-being-intentional/ has been obliterated. It is all hands on deck, gird your loins, breathe through your nose and out of your mouth, find the joy in the grind, “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose” (see below) type of self-motivation. It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t written in a while.

The beginning of the school year is always rough, but this one is different. Let me back up. Summer was different. Nothing I spent hours preparing for panned out. Overnight Summer Camp, didn’t happen. Final potty training success, still working on it. Visits to museums and having adventures, not a single one. It has been a wild ride, to say the least.

There are behavior challenges at home and at school, emergency IEP meetings, dismissal from Occupational Therapy because of behavior, anxiety – so much anxiety, and a lack of sleep for everyone. My husband and I are exhausted. Not to mention that neither of us can sleep through the night because we either ping awake stressed and filled with anxiety, or my youngest is literally screaming at 3:28 am. I would give a kidney to sleep through the night again. That’s how desperate I am for some rest.

The Yin and Yang

Reflecting on the past few months I sensed something was coming but didn’t know when it would arrive. I wish there was a parental alarm system that tells me “Hey, just a heads up. Down the road, everything is going to go off-course.” Strike that! There IS an alarm system. It starts with one or both kids not sleeping well. Then comes the anxiety about whatever we are doing at the moment. Then the behaviors creep in – more tantrums, more aggression. Then by this point, we are knee-deep in the muck. Let’s not forget to add a dash of State bureaucratic incompetency for fun. And yet, I am still surprised.

It’s not all horrible. My youngest started a new therapy called, Sensory Enhancement Therapy, and we have noticed some wonderful changes. He’s also wearing his glasses most of the time, which he never did last year. He is talking more, and eating better, and both boys are a little more independent. My youngest child started playing soccer. He’s not exactly playing but he is standing on the field which is a big win for this guy. These are the glimmers of hope I cling to during all the unrest. I really need to get comfortable with Yin and Yang.

Why is it like this? These drastic changes? I know development is not linear but damn!! This is rough. I can only describe it as a tsunami of everything. Until then, I will keep my eyes on the horizon for the next lull where I can catch my breath.

Take care,

Heather

P.S. – Thanks for sticking around and reading my blog. I took an extended break because life has gotten in the way. I hope to write more consistently in the future. Thanks again for reading and I hope your journey is going well. 🙂

*Here is the reference to “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose”.